Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

I can read

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What firsthand information do you have on prisoner-on-prisoner sexual abuse/rape?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What is the worst emotional pain you ever felt as an adult?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

How does a 45-year-old man get a girlfriend?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What does it mean if someone asks if it’s pink?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do men like women gold diggers?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why are flat Earthers made fun of when they seemingly don't exist? I have only met one flat Earther in 18 years.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

My son flunked his road test because he was driving a Tesla, dad says - NJ.com

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Do you think your landlord should have a key to your room?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Are there any penalties for bestiality in the USA and laws prohibiting it?

I see through liars

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What disgusts you?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

2 North Texas malls rank among the best malls in the U.S. that 'elevate the shopping experience' - WFAA

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit